By Mark Bazer What I am about to say might sound like bragging, but, believe me, I’m not. I am just ecstatic. A cellular phone dealer has opened up a shop right down the street from my apartment. Oh, what the hell? I am bragging! I’m not going to name names, but let’s just say that this cellular phone dealer is one of the big ones. Oh, what the hell again? I can’t contain myself. It’s Sprint PCS! The Sprint PCS store could not have opened at a more opportune time for yours truly. Why is that? Well, I think you’ll find this very interesting and pertinent to your life: I had been strongly considering purchasing a hands-free kit. The problem: Before the arrival of the Sprint PCS store, the nearest cellular phone dealer was two whole blocks away — and across a busy intersection. My wife and I had agonized over my game plan for making the journey to the store: When would traffic be lightest during store hours? Should I wear long underwear? Should I draw up a will beforehand? We eventually put an end to my silly pipe dream, deciding that there was too much risk and effort involved just to buy a hands-free kit (known in English as a headset). Meanwhile, I was still taking full advantage of my unlimited night and weekend minutes and my brain cancer was really starting to smart. Then I noticed some peculiar activity going on in the storefront at the nearby street corner. One day, it was just a couple of vague signs on the windows advertising “PCS Vision” and “Free and Clear Nationwide.” But the next day, I had a better idea of what was up when I saw Catherine Zeta-Jones and Joan Cusack outside bitching about the place. And a couple weeks after that, the Sprint PCS store opened, oddly without much fanfare. The great news about this new store is that not only does it offer unbelievable rates on a marvelous array of nationwide packages, but it’s got accessories as far as the eye can see if the eye’s owner doesn’t put his glasses on. I did indeed purchase for myself one Body Glove-brand “Earglove” hands-free kit, after my salesperson assuredly said, “I am not going to lie to you. No customer has had anything bad to say about this hands-free kit.” (It’s so rare and refreshing to find a salesperson who doesn’t tell lies about how customers hate her store’s products.) I’ll likely return to the store soon for a phone cover, or maybe even a picture phone. But, ultimately, I’m hoping that this place turns into more than just a shop and becomes a hangout for folks in the neighborhood, or at least for Sprint PCS customers. We desperately need a new place to congregate and shoot the breeze about the issues of the day. In other words, the Sprint PCS store could be for my neighborhood what a barbershop is for many a black community. And then there could be a movie based on the neighborhood called “Cellular Phone Shop” about how a cruel big-businessman wants to drive our poor, mom-and-pop Sprint store out of business so he can put in a new store that doesn’t offer its customers such sensational family plans. But I am getting ahead of myself. The challenge now is to persuade other cellular phone companies to set up retail outlets that can co-exist with the Sprint PCS store and give additional charm and flavor to my neighborhood. Fortunately, a couple of restaurants down the street from me have recently shut their doors, opening up space. XXXXX (Mark Bazer can be reached at mebazer@yahoo.com.) (c) 2004 Mark Bazer Distributed by Tribune Media Services

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